President Obama’s Justice Department—“strong” supporters of freedom of the press,” the administration assures us—has given permission, apparently, to the LA Times to report that Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Maricopa County, Arizona, has so pleased the citizens who voted him into office that his detractors were unable to collect the requisite number of signatures to subvert democracy by holding a sore-losers election, or what’s commonly referred to as a recall election.

The number-one accusation against Arpaio is what is commonly the first arrow in the liberals’ quiver when attacking someone: he’s a racist. They know he’s a racist because he upholds the laws that he was elected to uphold, and those laws negatively impact law-breakers, a group which includes people who immigrate here illegally, the majority of whom are not white. Ergo, racist. Thus is the tortured logic of the left.

A majority of the people imprisoned in Maricopa County for sneaking across the Mexican-American border into Arizona are Mexicans. Hard to believe, I know. To a liberal, as long as Arpaio isn’t arresting the exact same number of whites as he does Mexicans, he is engaging in racial profiling.

I don’t know if Arpaio explicitly tells his police force to look for stout, brown-skinned, black-haired people, but let me be the one to stick my head out there and say that he should. (Before I’m accused of racism, I would like to invoke the liberal rule of Immunity by Association: I am 1/8 Hispanic, specifically Cuban, which is twice as much Hispanic as Senator Elizabeth Warren is Cherokee.)

That’s right, Arpaio should specifically seek out those who look like the people who keep breaking the immigration laws of this country. We don’t have an epidemic of Welshmen sneaking past security to swarm into the country by the millions; if we did, I’d suggest the only logical thing: that Arpaio give particular scrutiny to freckled albinos with easily misplaced accents (Immunity by Association: I am twice as Welsh as I am Cuban).