Wednesday evening was meet-the-teachers night. The teachers affirmed that they are in charge of my children’s education. And, I found out, they now also think they are in charge of what I feed them.

Since one of my kids is scheduled for lunch early at 11 am and the other quite late after 1 pm, they are permitted to bring a snack to school. But it must be a Politburo-approved snack.

No candy. No cookies. Not even potato chips. Those will be confiscated, we were told.

Granola bars are okay, even though granola bars are the biggest fraud perpetrated upon man since the Munich agreement. They’re filled with sugar. I’d much rather my kids eat potato chips. But those are not Politburo-approved.

My son won’t eat healthy food. He just won’t. I know I’m a bad parent. We offer it too him constantly. He refuses, and unlike our president, he is an extremely decisive character. So we’ll do our best, but he may go hungry.

You may have guessed where I’m going with this. My school feels free to intervene in my private choices about what I feed my kids because our first lady is leading the way.

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