Upon hearing news of the death of the former North Korean leader, Kim Jong-il, and that his successor would be his blow-fish-like son, Kim Jong-un, who among us did not honestly expect that the corpulent dweeb would be a handful of trouble? He has malice written all over his face–literally, as Vice President Biden would say. Jong-un doesn’t merely look at the people and environment around him, but glares. There is a rumor that I just made up that he was actually born without muscles in his face. There is another rumor (which contradicts the first, but that’s okay; I made up this one as well) that says he was in fact born with muscles in his face, but that he suffers from chronic stomach cramps. Gastroenteritis is evidently part and parcel of being a deity.

Well if you were one of the many Americans who got the creeps when looking at a picture of Jong-un, your gut is now justified with the announcement yesterday by North Korea’s National Defense Commission that they plan to further test their nuclear capabilities by launching their third nuclear rocket into the air, the ultimate objective of which test is to prepare for a strike on the United States.

A statement released by the commission said, “We do not hide that a variety of satellites and long-range rockets which will be launched by the DPRK one after another and a nuclear test of higher level which will be carried out by it in the upcoming all-out action, a new phase of the anti-US struggle that has lasted century after century, will target against the US, the sworn enemy of the Korean people.” A somewhat ambiguous message, if you ask me.