In spite of a record number of Americans receiving food stamps, a 7.3 percent unemployment rate, and an embarrassing launch of his signature healthcare program, President Barack Obama says his administration has been the most productive in history.

At a private Democratic fundraiser in Beverly Hills, Calif., Obama touted himself and Democratic leaders for surpassing the likes of Abraham Lincoln and Franklin D. Roosevelt, who respectively ended slavery and led the country through the Great Depression and World War II.

“We have accomplished as much, if not more, than any time in our history, saving an economy from a Great Depression; revitalizing an auto industry that is producing better cars and has come roaring back like nobody believed; doubling our exports; drastically reducing our dependence on foreign oil; doubling fuel-efficiency standards; doubling our production of clean energy; reducing the pace of our carbon emissions; ending the war in Iraq; about to end the war in Afghanistan; re-centering our fight against terrorism in a way that respects our values and our ideals; expanding access to college for children all across this country; ending ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’; making sure that we are vindicating the notion that everybody should have a fair shot regardless of their sexual orientation, as well as their race and their gender; pushing for equal pay for women; reinstituting research for stem cells,” Obama gushed, in a text of the remarks, released by the White House.