By now everyone, at least the geeks that follow this stuff (like you and me), have heard New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s recent speech regarding the few conservatives that may still reside in his state.

For those who haven’t, here’s a quick recap: The governor stated that, “There is a schism in the Republican Party. They’re searching to define their soul… Who are they? Right to life, pro-assault weapons, anti-gay – if that’s who they are, they have no place in the state of New York because that’s not who New Yorkers are.”

Now that sounds reasonable, don’t you think? It sure is nice to see the lefts tolerance and acceptance of others viewpoints and beliefs on display.

Now rumor is that Rick Perry, Gov. of Texas is preparing a speech to counter Cuomo’s remarks. As luck would have it, I have obtained a draft copy of said speech. Let me reveal it to you now.  (The following demonstrates the absurdity of being absurd.)

“Conservatives, unlike liberals, are freethinkers and thus have varying opinions on many subjects. Normally we conservatives do not march in lockstep – but I, as the duly elected speechifier (got that word from “W”) do decree the following to all who reside in the state of Texas.”

“From here on, Texas will be an abortion free state. Anyone who wishes to have an abortion will be free to leave the state and will be denied entry if they choose to return. They are not welcome here.”

“Borrowing from the Swiss, every adult citizen of Texas will be issued an assault weapon and is required to keep it in good working order and present that weapon to authorities once a year for inspection. If you refuse the weapon, you will be removed from your home and deported to New YorkState. You will be denied entry if you choose to return. You have no place in Texas.”

“Borrowing from Russia, Texas will be a homosexual free state. If one is found to be homosexual, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, multi-gendered, semi-gendered or any combination, you’ll be deported to New YorkState. You have no place in Texas.”

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