So it looks like we’re not going to war. Darn it! It was the perfect distraction. No one has been concentrating on the myriad of domestic scandals and who would call for the head of a wartime president?

But his own Secretary of State, Lurch Kerry, foiled Obama.

So what will we do? The next best thing – arm al Qaeda, the terrorists, the rebels. Not that we haven’t been for more than a year now, but who’s counting?

Yet fear not. The administration only plans to arm the rebel factions that have been “vetted”. Feel better now? Me neither. Are those who vet the rebels the same bunch that backed Mohammed Morsi in Egypt?

So (more) shipments of small arms and ammo will be flowing into Syria.

I hope they aren’t those scary “assault weapons”? On the other hand, it might be a good thing and may end the war sooner. How so? Assad’s army will take one look at the rebel’s new weapons and run away. “Look Habib, they have those scary black guns with pistol grips! Run away! Someone call Mayor Bloomberg!”

Some former intelligence officers have confirmed that it’s not just small arms. They will also be provided with antitank weapons, RPG’s, advanced communications equipment, combat med kits and MRE’s.

Again – fear not. There is no chance of al-Nusra or other al-Qaeda terrorists ending up with our weaponry and communications gear to use against us. That will never happen! The administration has assured us.

On a completely unrelated topic, Ayman al-Zawahiri the head cheese of al- Qaeda has announced a plan to attack America. The plan is for small, sustained attacks that will “bleed America economically”.

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